The Government Job- Part 1

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to any alive or dead person, or organization is totally accidental. And no persons or animals were hurt in the writing of this column.

You know that you are in the wrong place, or at least you should have stayed in bed, when you are told as you smile at someone and say "Good morning," and you aren't even a morning person, that you are too happy. "What???? I am not even awake and you are telling me that saying "Hi, and saying good morning," qualifies me as a too happy?"

Just because my face is not in a constant frown and I am not constantly looking for someone to make a mistake, can't possibly make me too happy. It is almost as if people like this think if they are miserable so must everyone else.

When I started my career in government, I thought that people in leadership were smarter, better educated, more skilled than me. What a shock to find that this was very far from the truth. For the most part finding good leaders is like having President Brush admit that he lied about Iraqi.

Now I know that change must start with me, or that "I must be the change I want to see in the world." But I would have to change into a rich black man before there would be many good leaders out there.

So what I have found to help me get through this situation, where "all the big chunks rise to the top." is to laugh. I can't take anything too seriously. I can't take anything personally. I believe that "comedy is simply tragedy plus time." So what I find is that even though the event now hurts, later on it will make a great story, and I will be able to laugh at it. I, also, collect jokes like those below to keep myself laughing.

These quotes were taken from actual Federal (US) employee performance evaluations... And they same and worse could be said about leaders.

• "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
• "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity"
• "I would not allow this employee to breed"
• "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be"
• "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap"
• "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet"
• "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle"
• "This young lady has delusions of adequacy"
• "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them"
• "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot"
• "This employee should go far, and the sooner the better"
• "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together"
• "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus"
• "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless"
• "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier"
• "I would like to go hunting with him sometime"
• "He's been working with glue too much"
• "He would argue with a signpost"
• "He has knack for making strangers immediately"
• "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room"
• "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell"
• "If you see 2 people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one"
• "A photographic memory but with the cap over the lens"
• "A prime candidate for natural deselection"
• "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it"
• "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming"
• "Has 2 brains, one is lost, the other is out looking for it"
• "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week"
• "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change"
• "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean"
• "It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000 other sperm"
• "One neuron short of a synapse""
• "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled"
• "Takes him 12 hours to watch 60 Minutes"
• "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead"

Jana Ruth- Author of Laugh and Live Happier: P.L.A.Y.S. for Life
www.janaruth.biz
www.laughandlivehappier.com
www.laughingworld.blogspot.com