The Importance of Interpersonal Relationships

Daniel Goleman in his book, Social Intelligence, provides studies that support my beliefs that fun and laughter are important in the workplace. Working in an environment that allows for and encourages fun and laughter helps people feel secure. As Daniel Goleman notes in his book, "Secure bases are sources of protection, energy and comfort, allowing use to free our own energy. This is the conclusion of George Kohlrieser, a psychologist and professor of leadership at the International Institute for Management Development in Switzerland, who observes that having a secure base at work is crucial for high performance."

"Feeling secure, Kohlrieser argues, lets a person focus better on the work at hand, achieve goals, and see obstacles as challenges, not threats. Those who are anxious, in contrast, readily become preoccupied with the specter of failure, fearing that doing poorly will mean they will be rejected or abandoned (in this context, fired and so they play it safe."

"People who feel that their boss provides a secure base, Kohlrieser finds are more free to explore, be playful, take risks, innovate, and take on new challenges. Another business benefit: if leaders establish such trust and safety, then when they give tough feedback, the person receiving it not only stay more open but sees benefit in getting even hard-to-take information."

We effect each other more than we realize. My mood effects your mood and your mood effects my mood. As Daniel Goleman points out: "Even having just one person who can be counted on at work can make a telling difference in how we feel. In surveys of more than five million people working in close to five hundred organizations, one of the best predictors of how happy someone felt on their job was agreement with the statement. 'I have a best friend at work.'"

"As the head of a high-performing scientific team told me. 'I never hire anyone for my lab without them working with us provisionally for a while. Then I ask the other people in the lab their opinions, and I defer to them. If the interpersonal chemistry is not good, I don't want to risk hiring someone- no matter how good they may be otherwise."

Creating an environment in your home and at work of security, fun, and laughter is beneficial for everyone. We as human beings are much more connected than we ever thought before. When you say, "So and so much me sick." They probably do.

I highly recommend Daniel Coleman's book, Social Intelligence. It is a great read with very important information.

Jana Ruth
Author of Laugh and Live Happier: P.L.A.Y.S for Life
http://www.janaruth.biz/
http://www.laughandlivehappier.com/
http://www.laughingworld.blogstop.com/

Jana's Corner

Get Rid of the Buts and Butts in Your Life

I have decided that butts, or negative people, do not belong in my life. I don't want them. I don't need them. I refuse to let negative people in, or influence me. At times this is not a easy task. And sometimes, unfortunately, I am the butt.

This new found knowledge of my disliking butts, got me thinking about the other but. You know this one. This is the one we use in our language and in our writing. "She is a wonderful person, but...." "You did a great job, but..... " "I am so proud of you, but..." "I love you, but..."

This last example is the one that hurts the most, and unfortunately, I have heard it a few times. Anytime I hear a but, I know that everything the person said, or wrote , before the but, is nil and void.

The great replacement for but is and. "She is a wonderful person, and...." "You did a great job, and...." " I am so proud of you, and..." "I love you, and..." This and replacement comes from the world of Improvisational Theater where you are taught to add to whatever idea, your improvisational partner gives you. You are taught to contribute positively with an and instead of responding with a negative but.

Think about how much better our world would be if we all used and instead of but? Think about how much better the workplace would be if we all contributed to each others ideas, instead of saying "Tom, great idea, but let me tell you all the reasons why it won't work." Tom, after hearing this is not likely to contribute again. What if Tom heard, "Tom, great idea, and to add to that, what if we do this?"

I think that if we outlawed all the buts and butts from her homes, schools, and workplaces, we would all communicate more, and be much more productive. Let's add to each other lives, and quit being so negative. And what do you think?

Jana Ruth
Author of Laugh and Live Happier: P.L.A.Y.S. for Life
www.janaruth.biz
www.laughandlivehappier.com
www.laughingworld.blogspot.com

Laugh and Live Happier: P.L.A.Y.S. for Life







The above image is so exciting to me. It is my first book. If you are interested in getting more information go to www.laughandlivehappier.com

I just got through reading a wonderful book called, You Can Learn to Be Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D.. According to the teacher of Harvard University's most popular and life-changing course you can learn to be happier. Dr. Ben-Shahar suggests that the way to do that is to balance your pleasure with your passion, in the present and the future.

Instead of asking, "Should I be happy now or in the future," ask, "How can I be happy now and in the future?' So often we think that we can't have both happiness now and happiness in the future. Dr. Ben-Shahar says it best.

Attaining lasting happiness requires that we enjoy the journey
on our way toward a destination we deem valuable. Happiness is
not about making it to the peak of the mountain nor is it about
climbing aimlessly around the mountain; happiness is the
experience of climbing toward the peak.

My strong belief is that we can discover our pleasure through play and laughter, and being in the present instead of living in the past, or worrying about the future. Coupled with pleasure is the need to discover our passion or purpose for life.

One of the best ways to discover our purpose is to do what Harold Whitman suggests, "Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

One method to use to discover your passion is to write your obituary. Write out what you want to accomplish in your life and what you want people to say about you when you die. It helps you discover your mission, purpose, and and passion in life.

Laugh and Live Happier.

Jana

It's All In the Meaning

My ex-husband Richard, who I affectionately called Dick, used to get very upset when I said the "F" word. Dick, didn't mind when I "f***ed" him, he just didn't want me to say it. He said it wasn't ladylike. As if I was ever a lady.

Anyway it got me thinking. Which is scary, although I am a legend in my own mind. It got me thinking. The "F" word is not bad or dirty by itself, it is the meaning we give it.

For instance let's suppose that the "F" word meant what the word church means and vica versa.

So you might ask your friend if "he was going to "F***" on Sunday." Or you might tell your sister that she "should go to hear the great preacher at "F***." Or a survey would find that 40% of the American population goes to "F***" every Sunday.

The opposite would also be interesting. If you were really angry at someone you would say, "Well church you." Or, "I churched her brains out last night." Kids would get into big problem if they used the "C" word but saying f*** would be considered okay and very good if you went to f*** on Sunday.

It really isn't the word, it is the meaning that gets us into trouble.

So if you don't like it, well CHURCH YOU!

And so as the little boy answered when asked what part of him was hurt when he fell on the slippery floor, "The End."