The Government Job- Part 1

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to any alive or dead person, or organization is totally accidental. And no persons or animals were hurt in the writing of this column.

You know that you are in the wrong place, or at least you should have stayed in bed, when you are told as you smile at someone and say "Good morning," and you aren't even a morning person, that you are too happy. "What???? I am not even awake and you are telling me that saying "Hi, and saying good morning," qualifies me as a too happy?"

Just because my face is not in a constant frown and I am not constantly looking for someone to make a mistake, can't possibly make me too happy. It is almost as if people like this think if they are miserable so must everyone else.

When I started my career in government, I thought that people in leadership were smarter, better educated, more skilled than me. What a shock to find that this was very far from the truth. For the most part finding good leaders is like having President Brush admit that he lied about Iraqi.

Now I know that change must start with me, or that "I must be the change I want to see in the world." But I would have to change into a rich black man before there would be many good leaders out there.

So what I have found to help me get through this situation, where "all the big chunks rise to the top." is to laugh. I can't take anything too seriously. I can't take anything personally. I believe that "comedy is simply tragedy plus time." So what I find is that even though the event now hurts, later on it will make a great story, and I will be able to laugh at it. I, also, collect jokes like those below to keep myself laughing.

These quotes were taken from actual Federal (US) employee performance evaluations... And they same and worse could be said about leaders.

• "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
• "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity"
• "I would not allow this employee to breed"
• "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be"
• "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap"
• "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet"
• "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle"
• "This young lady has delusions of adequacy"
• "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them"
• "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot"
• "This employee should go far, and the sooner the better"
• "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together"
• "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus"
• "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless"
• "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier"
• "I would like to go hunting with him sometime"
• "He's been working with glue too much"
• "He would argue with a signpost"
• "He has knack for making strangers immediately"
• "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room"
• "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell"
• "If you see 2 people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one"
• "A photographic memory but with the cap over the lens"
• "A prime candidate for natural deselection"
• "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it"
• "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming"
• "Has 2 brains, one is lost, the other is out looking for it"
• "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week"
• "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change"
• "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean"
• "It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000 other sperm"
• "One neuron short of a synapse""
• "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled"
• "Takes him 12 hours to watch 60 Minutes"
• "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead"

Jana Ruth- Author of Laugh and Live Happier: P.L.A.Y.S. for Life
www.janaruth.biz
www.laughandlivehappier.com
www.laughingworld.blogspot.com

That's My Beautiful Face.

It all starts with me. I determine my life. I decide if I am going to be happy or sad, successful, non-successful. Is it easy? No, and many times I want to have someone to blame for all my problems. It is all me. I know that to have happiness, or joy, or success, I must be that which I want. To have happiness, I have to be happy. I have joy, I have to be joyful. I have success, I have to be success. We can't have what we are not.

Dr. David Hawkins, "Map of Consciousness," points out that to get to higher places of power on the map we need to have more positive thoughts and feelings. In his best selling book, "Power vs. Force," Dr. Hawkins points out, "The ways the various levels of human consciousness express themselves are profound and reaching: their effects are both gross and subtle. Levels below 200 are detrimental to life in both the individual and society at large; those above 200 are constructive expressions of power."

Those emotions below 200 are: Scorn, Hate, Craving, Anxiety, Regret, Despair, Blame, Humiliation. Humiliation is the lowest at 20. The emotions 200 and above are, in order: Affirmation, Trust, Optimism, Forgiveness, Understanding, Reverence, Serenity, Bliss, Ineffable. Ineffable, is the highest and the Level is Enlightenment and the Process is Pure Consciousness.

The thought is that only Jesus and other high spiritual beings got to that level. So how do we mortals get up the Map of Consciousness to a higher level of energy.

The best way I know how is to simply laugh. So if you want to laugh with me please call me at 480-600-5178 or janabanana15@cox.net.

If you want to laugh by yourself, just do it. Even if it is not real, it will still help, and learn ways to love yourself. There is only you, and you are in charge of your life, like I am in charge of yours and like me you are beautiful.

I am looking for you:

Are you good at sales and or marketing?
Do you like to laugh?
Do you have some time each week to spare?
Are you looking to make money based on your own efforts?
Do you want to work from your own home?

If you answered yes to three or more out of the five please call me at 480-600-5178 or janabanana15@cox.net

Jana Ruth- Author of Laugh and Live Happier: P.L.A.Y.S. for Life

www.janaruth.biz

www.laughandlivehappier.com

www.laughingworld.blogspot.com

New Sponsors of College Football Bowl Games

We have some many bowl games now with some many different sponsors, that I want to propose some new College Football Bowl Games:

The Toilet Bowl
The Ceiling Fan Bowl
The Stayfree Maxi Pad Bowl
The Trojan Bowl
The Huggies Diaper Bowl

I am sure that many of these might soon appear.

Jana Ruth
Author of "Laugh and Live Happier: P.L.A.Y.S. for Life
www.janaruth.biz
www.laughandlivehappier.com
www.laughingworld.blogspot.com